Receiving

After such a long time of holding onto this idea that we will always suffer in some way or another, when I began to experience joy, abundance, and manifestations in my life, I found it a real challenge.

To embody the truth that I am worthy of all this, and more.

I had truly felt that joy wouldn’t last. That I wasn’t worthy of the blessings all around me.

This was a response to a lot of unprocessed trauma, of mine, my ancestors and past lives before. I had developed an inherent belief that good things would always precede something bad and that the highs and lows are just “a part of life”.

But these past eighteen months, my eyes and my heart have been opened to the true beauty that lies in not having to live behind the lens of our pain.

That there is another way.

Not the fated path of hard struggles, resistance, confrontation, and pain on all levels, but the destined path of remembering what we came here to be. This isn’t a light and fluffy new age approach, a bypassing of the deep inner work, but one that sheds light on, processes, and gently heals the very things that stop us from being in our divine light.

To put it into perspective a little, prior to my shamanic healing journey and the priestess healing I have received, I held deep chronic pain in my back, I was afraid, angry, and distrusting of most people, and I was so exhausted from perpetually revisiting old stories in my mind of unworthiness and fear, and this I projected onto the world around me.

Only through seeing, being compassionate to, and healing these aspects (which continues, as this is the journey), I have been able to heal my physical pain and my mental anguish, and my connection to my intuition and visions have bloomed. I never thought a year ago, that I would now be embarking on rose priestess magdalene training.

But this, I feel, is the key to the soul path, trusting and knowing that the way will show itself, it’s not one that the mind can comprehend.