As the wheel begins turning toward spring and the sight of sunlight graces us with its glimmering presence more and more each day, I feel the embers within me flickering.
I have sat with myself in stillness and an open heart more than ever before this winter, with no objectives, no must-dos, just simply allowing. And just this week, whilst brushing my teeth to be exact, I remembered just how effortlessly the beautiful manifestations have appeared in my life and within me.
It sparked a remembering that this is what it’s all about, intending and being, and then receiving. When we drop into our bodies and our hearts, we hand over our mind’s need to know and we surrender into allowing.
When I stopped trying to find the answers, seeking things to heal, or endlessly going round in circles within my mind, the healing came to me. Whether that was in a healing session, or a solo karaoke car session on full volume, both as powerful as the other.
It's when we feel safe, and our hearts and our shadow can be heard, that we truly surrender to the healing. And with our intention, to heal out of love for ourselves instead of fear of being broken, unlovable or unworthy, we step into such a life-changing and empowering place, and our destiny begins to show itself to us. Ancestors and guides knocking at our door like "hello were those blatant signs clear enough for you yet?"😆
This last year I had dived so deeply into inner work with my shamanic training, and with this integration time, I am seeing now that we don't solely manifest our reality through our conscious and subconscious beliefs, but we choose the vibration, the path of love and highest destiny or fear, our fated path.
I began embarking on not only releasing, but really making ceremony out of my dreams and my visions. Not because I needed to be more of anything, but to really connect to what my soul and higher self was and is calling me towards.
It was no longer about trying, but of allowing. Opening more and more, to the sunlight beaming down on me in my wholesome embodied worthiness. Believing I am worthy of it all and more is a practice, a lifelong one at that I'm sure, but it's a practice.
Affirming, I am open to my highest destiny, life guides me on my path with my heart as the leader and that I am open to a world of possibilities far greater than I could ever imagine.
These moments of recognition and gratitude move me so deeply. Reflecting on how I moved out of and overcame such a deep depression and disconnection from my soul. I was so afraid to be alive, yet so afraid I wasn't living, caught somewhere in between.
Exhausted on every level, my mind was at war and my body was a melting pot crying to be heard, masked beneath holding in my belly and my feelings, topped up with a whole lot of CBD, and before that, copious amounts of alcohol and exercise.
And boy has the world of possibilities surprised me this past year. I had dreamt for years of living off-grid, in harmony with the land, and within eight months of really connecting to this heart call as one of the endless possibilities, we sold our house and made enough money to buy a boat outright to live on in nature next to an RSPB! This is something I thought may be possible in ten years or more, but it happened. And it’s far more beautiful and peaceful than I could have ever comprehended.
I completed my shamanic training which in itself I am still reflecting on and integrating, as well as embarking on a deeply healing mushroom ceremony, I experienced a life-changing divine feminine initiation in the Pyrenees, on the land Mary Magdalene once walked! This is all still so awe-inspiring, like is this really my life?
And the more I see the beauty and abundance around me, the more I begin to believe that I am a mirror of it all, and I am worthy. This only grows with each healing I received, with each fire ceremony I breathe both my releases and my dreams into, and with each soft step just a little closer to my soul.
But the biggest manifestation and celebration is the wholeness that I'm feeling. A way of being I had only dreamt of, peace, gratitude, birds flying overhead as I step off our beautiful boat towards the sunrise to the sound of birdsong all around. With such a spring in my step going to work that doesn't feel like work, this is alignment.
I get to share creative writing and tools that have not only saved me but are the very reason I am here. I started stepping up into my freelance writing dream, and I happy dance when I catch myself in moments of wow, is this real? I have days my face hurts from smiling, and lines have surfaced that curl around my mouth. I know I could so easily fall back into an old pattern of reassurance that I have my low days, but this isn't about that.
And so, I sing, and I dance at the deep healing journey I have been and continue on. And not the healing kind where I search for the root and solve, overcome, or mend bits back together, which my mind was sure this was all about. Instead, it has deepened my awareness of the many layers of me in my beautiful messy wholeness.
I'll be sharing a little bit more about how we can heal aspects of the self through shamanic work, that enables us to reconnect to our purpose, our soul, and onto the path of our destiny. Keep an eye out! 🧿
Message me or leave a heart below to join the waitlist for my Spring enrolment of my 1:1 Creative Writing Mentorship