" 𝙍𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙢𝙗𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙗𝙞𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙧𝙚 "
~ Marc Broussard, Please Please Please
I love these lyrics, but this is easier said than done sometimes.
How can we possibly see bliss, dreams and hope beyond all the issues before us? Or if all we've ever known is suffering and hurt?
I haven't always seen beauty around me, let alone within me. Just five years ago I was too afraid to feel. I couldn't even fathom enjoying the sound of beautiful music or a conversation with a loved one without crippling fear, physical pain and terror.
I would get glimpses of joy, a smile from another, warming calm with horses or the sight of a star-filled sky. But it was short lived, I was in so much agony mind, body and soul.
After years of despair and trauma, and feeling silenced from speaking against my abusers, I now understand much of this didn't start in this lifetime or with me, but was also past life and ancestral pain.
Finally, I despaired enough in 2019, at a loss with even wanting to be here on earth let alone feel the joy and bliss I was seeing described online and around me. But something, maybe my higher self, prompted me to ask the question "is this really it? Am I always going to be like this?"
That year, after years of not being able to delve deep or find sanctuary in talk therapy, I sought the healing of a shaman in Cardiff where I was living at the time.
It was slow, it was gentle, it was deep, and it terrified me. But as the year went on, I began to feel again. And I began to see there was another way. This, alongside coaching, writing therapy and women's circles, followed by the depth of healing I worked through in my life changing shamanic medicine wheel training, are what empowered me enough to emerge from dark despair and chronic physical pain, onto a path of bliss, joy, awareness, and connection.
Sitting with our pain and shadows safely so they don't run the show in the background. To work with the heavy energy and our stories so they don't inform our reality, so we can truly dream bigger than we are.
Maybe you have questions, please ask away, you don't need to suffer in silence nor are you ever alone 💗